So, why am I writing about the 2019 Garden State Film Festival with photos from last year now, and not 48 hours after it occurred like most media outlets did?  I call it my “Bon Jovi” strategy.  Let me explain.

Back in 2011, when Jon Bon Jovi opened his restaurant in Red Bank, NJ, media FLOODED the internet and newspapers with articles about the Soul Kitchen.  Basically, once you read one article about it, you really didn’t need to read someone else’s version of the same facts within a few days of each other.  It was a headline overload on the same topic.  

What did I do?  I waited.  I waited until the restaurant had been open for a few months and THEN I went in, did my interviews, took photos, and asked how the Soul Kitchen was doing AFTER its grand opening.  I had some new information to add to the pot.  My perspective was fresh, and not buried between 50 other stories about the singer’s endeavor.

Similarly, I apply my Bon Jovi strategy, now.

Within a few days of the Garden State Film Festival every year, social media is similarly flooded with photos from the event, and you’ll catch many articles online about the same movies and people.  There’s only so much you can absorb at one time.

Me, I’d rather stand apart from the crowd, just like I did in 2012 with Jon Bon Jovi.  Plus, if you consider going to the Garden State Film Festival THIS year, (which, I think you should) you’re a lot closer to the event, than before.  It’s a win-win situation.

​I’m the single red chili pepper in a bushel of green ones some might say here in New Mexico.  But I was a fish out of water when I lived in New Jersey.  I never felt that I fit in with the vibe of the busy, bustling, sometimes brash northeast.  I might be the one red pepper mixed in with the green ones here in the southwest, but I found my tribe.   I’m a little bit different, but I feel like I fit in more, if that makes sense.

Life is literally full of sunshine here in the southwestern part of the USA, and my soul is at home when I look out my window in the back of my house and see the most beautiful mountains and turquoise cloudless blue skies; I’m lulled to sleep at night when I hear the coyotes howl, and I enjoy life at a slower pace than most people experience on both coasts and in or near big cities.  

Maybe this is why people seem happier here?  More sun, more fresh air, and just taking life at a little slower pace might have something to do with it.

Many people thought I would move back to New Jersey when I said I was finally moving to the place I had dreamed of living in for decades; and they were very surprised when I didn’t go driving back across the country to where I was raised.  Not me.  I’ve hung my sombrero here in New Mexico, and I’m here to stay.  (And the people who really know me, know that I never rush into a decision, and once I make up my mind, there’s no going back.)

I must say it’s kind of fun being known as “the girl from Jersey” on the block.  Apparently, I have an accent compared to most native New Mexicans.  I don’t have and never had, the stereotypical borderline-Brooklyn-Staten-Island-North-Jersey accent, but I do say some words that indicate where I spent most of my life:  “wudder” and “cawfee” usually give me away.
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​But some of you might be surprised that I just referenced that I live on a block. Yes!  Believe it or not, New Mexico isn’t just desert sand surrounding a tumbleweed and one general store in a ghost town.  Many places, including where I live, are a slice right out of suburbia civilization.  But to clarify, it’s not suburbia surrounding a metropolis… it’s a calmer, slightly more spaced out suburbia where people aren’t parked on top of each other and neighbors are nice.

​And, to clarify – last year I moved to NEW Mexico; NOT Mexico.  New Mexico is still a part of the United States, and has been very much a part of the 50 since 1912.  There’s a running joke among locals saying to out-of-staters, that yes, New Mexico is a state.  No passport is required.  No pesos, either.
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I guess there are as many stereotypes about this southwestern part of the country as there are about New Jersey.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked if the mafia is really all over New Jersey and if  most people act like they do on The Sopranos.  When I tell them I actually know Vincent Pastore (Big Pussy from The Sopranos) (who is like an uncle to my daughter, and family to both of us), and give Artie Pasquale, (Burt Gervasi from The Sopranos) another good friend, a hug, whenever I see him, people around here nearly pass out and embrace the television propaganda that all of New Jersey is knee deep in the mob. 

But when you filter through all of the desert sand, you find out that we New Mexicans, don’t all eat Mexican food and live on hot chili peppers.  Similarly, when I grew up in Toms River, New Jersey, my life was not like that depicted on the show the Jersey Shore. Stereotypes are just that; nothing more.  True, you can find about ten different varieties of chilis at every grocery store here, and no Taylor Ham, but that’s just some literal flavor of the region.
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The most frequently asked question I hear lately is, “Why did you move to New Mexico?”  I guess the easiest way to explain it is:
If you are living in surroundings that you love, you will thrive.  We can learn from nature.  You wouldn’t find a polar bear in the desert or a fish living on land.   So, it follows that I felt like a fish out of water living in New Jersey; but when I moved to New Mexico, it felt like I found my “lake”.  Maybe you haven’t experienced that feeling yet – but if you ever do – you’ll be moved so much that you’ll know exactly what I mean. 

Instead of going on a trip to a place that I love two weeks out of the year, home is here, for me.  Imagine coming home to a place that feels like you’re on vacation year-round!
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When I drove into my then future neighborhood last year, I literally got all choked up and tears of happiness just flowed.  I knew that if I could only spend the rest of my life in one place, and the last thing I would ever see is the mountain range on the horizon, I would be content being here.

​There were practical reasons for my move, too… I’m a warm weather girl, and I swore to myself in 2017 those would be the last flakes of snow I would ever shovel. I was tired of the blizzards and scraping ice off of my car windshield.  I didn’t want to waste any more hours of my life sitting in traffic on roads that wove paths like pretzels.  What I used to pay in property taxes, I pack away for vacations now!  Instead of financial struggle, I can live without the worry of spiraling expenses.
Was there a period of adjustment for me post move?  Well, yes, but it’s not like I had to go from driving a car to riding a horse! Ha ha!

Of course, I came from the only state where people do not pump their own gas.  With practice I was able to adapt; but in the beginning it was another flag for people to spot the “Jersey Girl” - at the gas pump.
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In August and September, they call it “monsoon season” around here.  Maybe you’ll get 5 or 6 thunderstorms at the end of the days in that two month period that last for a few minutes, but I’ll say from experience, that’s just called a quick rain shower back in the humid, wet state of New Jersey where rain and feeling like a wet washcloth is the normal forecast most of the time.  

​I had to laugh when locals here in New Mexico spoke of “traffic”.  I’m used to a 15-mile drive sometimes taking up to 2 hours during rush hour back in New York or New Jersey.  When you see the slight orange tint on the gps here, it usually means about a 2 minute slow down because of minor construction or a traffic light.  I chuckle. I don’t mind.  I wouldn’t trade the “traffic” here for the pothole-ridden roads of the northeast or the gridlocked highways of Los Angeles any day.  I’ll gladly accept my New Mexico “traffic” with a smile.  I guess my past experiences allow me to put things into perspective and appreciate what I have here in the land of a million sparkling stars not drowned out by the bright city lights.

Besides speaking at the speed of light compared to native New Mexicans, I had to learn what the “land of mañana” is.  If anything can wait until tomorrow here, it usually does.  If you ask to have something done on a Friday afternoon, you can pretty much count on that it won’t be done until Monday.  Is that a bad thing?  Not necessarily if you learn to expect it.

I also had to get used to handshakes at car dealerships when getting my car serviced, and people consistently holding doors open for others.  Smiles and hellos are the norm here.   I was so surprised at this kind of behavior here that I hardly ever saw in New Jersey where people tend to keep to themselves, looking down at the ground, pretending you are invisible and can’t be bothered to greet people as they pass by.
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I do still have some “Jersey pride”, though.  Pizza pride, actually.  Only people from northern New Jersey or New York City know what real pizza is.  I hate to break it to all native New Mexicans, but it’s not what Dominos delivers or anything from Little Caesars. And, when you find real pizza here in New Mexico (it’s possible with some searching) you don’t put hatch chili peppers on it – that’s down right sacrilegious.  But I must admit, just like I can judge true pizza, native New Mexicans are better judges of the hottest Mexican food in the USA (I can’t even wrap my taste buds around what they consider “mild” on the spicy spectrum.)

​Among my discoveries is a new shade of blue – New Mexico blue – the skies are a clear, bright, turquoise without a single cloud most days.  Now I understand the love for the turquoise color reflected from above in southwestern art.

I’ve found quiet solitude here, about twenty minutes from my house – not just shopping centers.  I don’t just mean a neighborhood park, either.  Disconnecting from the world really means no phone signal as you navigate the arroyos on a hike through the beautiful sandstone and cacti at the base of the mountains. It turned out that this is just what I needed to decompress.  I never realized how I didn’t have a true escape from people and problems until I moved here.  

People ask me how I could live here where [gasp] rattlesnakes reside.  I’ll tell you, you have a better chance of seeing an alligator on a golf course in Florida than you do of stepping on a snake here.  Natives shared with me that generally, if you don’t go looking for trouble (under rocks and around bushes), you won’t find it.  Rattlers don’t want to be bothered as much as you don’t want to be bothered by them.  They also hibernate, and unless you’re stomping through the desert in the springtime or turning over rocks and tumbleweeds when they wake up, you have nothing to fear.

As for coyotes, they were here first.  So, if you ever wondered why the coyote crossed the road, you can probably stop and ask one here, if you catch them late at night or wandering back to their mountain dens before dawn.  If you don’t catch up with a coyote, you can surely find one of his roadrunner pals zipping along the pavement on your way to work, too.  As with most of nature, if you show common sense and don’t leave small children and pets outside unattended or have mounds of garbage around, you won’t have to deal with crossing paths.  Besides, coyotes are cute.  You’ve got black bears and wild turkeys in New Jersey.  I just traded those species for others out here.   Besides, I’d much rather hear coyotes howling at night instead of horns beeping, traffic, and trains.

Do I miss the ocean?  Maybe for two or three days out of the year.  So, I’ll hop on a plane and take a dip in the Pacific or dive in the water at another location.  What about craving WaWa coffee, sub sandwiches, or amazing Jersey Italian food?  Same thing – I’ll travel to taste it – but I don’t feel I need it all the time.

I have my happiness.  I found my literal space to become the person I wanted to be.  Take that chance.  Leave your familiar surroundings.  Travel.  Embrace the new and wonderful.  I wish the same for all of you, your own personal nirvana, no matter how you define it on the map.
 

So I travel – a lot.  On my last trip to Los Angeles, I made some casual observations of the 4 primary places that some people should perhaps exercise a bit more consideration in:  the hotel, the restaurant, the plane, and the airport.  Maybe “casual observations” isn’t quite the phrase I’m looking for, though, because the things I’m about to describe were thrust upon me without my consent – so they were kind of hard to miss. While there aren’t any “written rules” that would speak to these unneighborly behaviors, I’m thinking now, maybe there should be.  Maybe manners aren’t apparent anymore and definitely are not taught at home or in school much these days, either – but they should be.

First, I’ll start off by saying kudos to the people and parents who actually give a damn because they put themselves in other people’s shoes and probably wouldn’t want to experience all kinds of migraine-causing mayhem while they travel, too.  [Disclaimer:  I’m a mother, and I love my child, but not in a million years would I allow my daughter to behave like she belonged in a barn.]

The hotel isn’t a playground where you drop off your children with a friend’s children in their own room, unsupervised, while you go off and have separate adult time pretending that these offspring are not your responsibility.

Guess what?  No one likes your kids banging on the walls and blasting the Disney channel with decibels so loud that you can hear Mickey  Mouse sing 3 floors down.  Nope, not even Minnie Mouse, herself, would want to experience that continuous torture.  As for them peeling off the Do Not Disturb signs outside of unsuspecting guests’ doors thinking that they are free souvenirs for the taking, that’s just plain obnoxious, and I hope with all sincerity that your kids barge into your rooms before the sun rises, since housekeeping couldn’t tell that “privacy please” was requested on most of my floor in the early hours.  I wish upon you all the joys of hearing twenty elephants run up and down outside of your door at 2am every night for the next year, because that’s what it sounded like when your youngsters used the 4th floor as a racetrack, screaming, yodeling, and giggling, in the middle of the night.

It’s all well-and-good that there’s a hotel manager to report these things to, but you see, by that time, the damage has been already done – and I’m awake; when I wanted to be asleep, which may surprise you that most people do once it gets dark.  [Newsflash:  the hotel manager isn’t your babysitter, either.]

Perhaps there should be penalties for those who insist on being inconsiderate, like paying twice the price if they aren’t nice.  I don’t know, but people like this are one of my pet peeves.  Get a nanny, grab control of your kids, or get out of here.

My last statement applies to restaurants, too.

If you want to scream and run in a restaurant, please consider going to Chuck E Cheese.  Some people like to sit in a restaurant and talk quietly to the person across from them at the table without having to scream because the adults and children at the table next to them are so boisterous that you can’t even hear yourself think before your first cup of coffee.  Believe it or not, some waiters like to carry trays of food to customers without playing dodgeball with children, as these little people run in a circular pattern around and in-between tables.  It’s just what I hear, but I tend to think it carries a lot of truth.  Really people – get a grip.  This isn’t your living room, it’s a public place.  As for the noisy father at the table next to us who grabbed the small girl who would not sit down and toured the restaurant for an hour on full-speed ahead, and flipped her upside down after breakfast – I hope she barfs on your shoes.

Please be nice to passengers with connecting flights.  I know, I know, we all want to get off the plane first.  But, when you have a total of 23.6 minutes to get from one side of an airport to another, even with the use of a tram or bus, to catch your next flight, it’s the slowpokes in front of you that will cause you to run like the wind and still be praying that your next plane hasn’t left the gate.  I don’t even think that this is really any passengers’ fault – well, except for the guy that gets up, adjusts his shirt and tie for ten minutes while blocking the aisle, almost hits the person behind him in the head with his heavy carry-on that should have been bagged and tagged below, and proceeds to button every. last. button. on his coat before disembarking.

Airlines:  instead of offering to charge me $35 for ½ an inch more leg room on my flight, or the privilege for boarding in group 16 instead of group 17 for another $26.75, I’d gladly pay you an unspecified amount of money (ok, within limits) to GET OFF THE DAMN PLANE first, (or at least in a priority way.)  Give me a bracelet that allows me to get off the flying metal tube before every other person who already got where they are going and doesn’t have to do a 2000 yard dash to catch the next plane to her final destination.  [Insert prayer hands here; United Airlines et al:  you can thank me for my brilliance later when you steal this novel idea by giving me first class tickets to everywhere I want to go, in perpetuity.]
 
The seating area by the gate at the airport is not a runway for toddlers.  I really didn’t want my coffee kicked over at 6am as your children ran in circles at Gate C34.  Really, I didn’t.  Trust me if I did, you would have been the first to know.  As for the two year-olds running past seated travelers at the speed of light, did you happen to notice that every single adult in LAX was giving you, the parents, the evil eye?  Yes, the dirty looks were meant for you.  This is not daycare.  We don’t want to be climbed on or clinged to.  Some of us even tried to tolerate the video game shrill electronic and repetitive music that was at maximum stereophonic volume; but give us a small break, please after 45 continuous crazy minutes of it – or consider handing out Excedrin to everyone in a 100 foot radius before the flight.  I think I speak for most people, when I say we don’t want to clutch our computers as if our lives depended on it, because your kiddos think that the charging cords are for skipping rope.

As for me, maybe I’ll start an anti-chaos campaign for those with frequent flyer miles.  What do you think?

You know what they say – don’t assume – because it makes an “ass’ out of “u” and “me”.  Well, I think more to the point, it makes an ass out of you.  Here is a small collection of my thoughts, in short letters to people who have crossed my path who have been downright insulting; and the sad part is that they probably had no idea that they were offending me at the time.   Actually, their words were offensive to an entire gender. This isn’t something speaking to centuries past.  It’s a reflection of society, today, still spotted with social stigmas of the past.

Sadly, I’m also sure that these “Dear Dummy” letters echo the thoughts of many other women who have been given questioning looks as if they really are the sole decision maker in their household, or if they can actually pay for something on their own without the help of a man. 

Thank you to all of the men who recognize that we girls may not always be as physically strong, but our money is just as valuable as yours, and our decisions carry as much weight as anyone else’s.

To all of those men who have said things without thinking to a woman, questioning her worth, independence, opinions, or her decision to be single - maybe the next time you see us, be a “gentle”man, offer your help if you see us struggling to shovel heavy snow, open a door for us if our hands are full, be kind, treat us like ladies, but don’t assume that our father/brother/husband/boyfriend is around or even exists, or should exist, to reinforce us as capable women in life.

Dear Car Salesman When I was 23:

You could have had a sale.  You could have sold me that zippy sports car, and I would have been one of your best customers that week.  I was a young woman, but I had a good job, and I made enough money to make those car payments consistently.  My credit rating was stellar.  I didn’t need a cosigner.  Why in the world would you ask me when I walked into the dealership if my father was with me, and then reluctantly give in to talk to me about what kind of car I wanted to buy with zero enthusiasm in your voice, assuming I wasn’t a serious buyer? 

You have no idea how insulting that was to me.  Stereotype much?  I bet, if a young man walked into your dealership, you would have showed him all of the features inside and out on that car, and you wouldn’t have dared ask him if his father were there.  You two would have been bent over the hood, chatting about revving the engine and taking her out for a spin.

I showed you, though.  I took that 5 speed out for a test drive, and your mouth dropped when you saw I could shift gears.  Then, I thanked you, and walked out, and bought my first Mustang at a different dealership that recognized you can’t judge a book by its cover, or a young lady by her youth.

Dear Upholstery Guy:

When you say you offer pick-up and delivery of a couch, I expect you to provide the man power to lift it out of my living room into your truck.  I’m paying you good money for your service.  Don’t ask me if I have a “husband” or “boyfriend’ who can help you with the heavy lifting.  I just don’t know where to begin to tell you how much is wrong with your question.

Even if I did have a husband or live-in boyfriend, I’m paying you to do a job, not them.  You shouldn’t impose on a customer to help you with your work when you charge them  more for an extra service. 

Secondly, in this day and age, it is very normal for a woman to live alone, on her own, without the physical help or financial support of a man.  Don't you dare raise your left eyebrow at me when I tell you the only ones living here are me, my daughter, and my dog.  I’m a proud single mom who owns her own home, pays all of her bills by herself, and chooses to enjoy the company of a man who does not share in my finances, home, or domestic life.  Please do not make assumptions that there’s a “man” of the house.  There’s only a “woman” of my house, and I like it that way.

Dear Handyman:

Don’t assume that I have a “man around the house” who is too busy to fix things when they break.  I called you because I’m not a fix-it girl, nor do I desire to break a well-manicured nail when things need small repairs.  I hired you for your carpentry skills, not your comments.  No, you can not borrow my husband’s hammer – but, you can borrow mine!

Dear Real Estate Agent:

When I walk into your office saying that I want to buy a house with my daughter, don’t question me when I fill out paperwork if there’s a second person’s name to put on the “spouse” line.  When I put “N/A”, I mean it.  I can read.  Thank you very much for your attention to this detail because it showed me exactly how much I should be paying attention to a different realtor. 

I run my own business and have better finances than most people. Repeat, “I” – not “we.”  I don’t need a man to buy a house, or help me make a decision, or give me the “ok” to do something.

Unless you realize the cost of your words, you will feel a cost to your bottom line by losing sales.

And, I conclude this list of letters, hoping that I do not have to write any more.  I know I’ve missed addressing many who have chosen to look over my shoulder to see if there’s a man to back up my mind, but you get my point.  And, I can only hope that I won’t have to keep adding to this list in the future.

If you have a story to share that sounds like mine, please comment below, or tag me on social media.  :)

I never thought when I started out on my own almost 5 years ago with TheLadyinRedBlog that clothing companies would be asking me to do collaborations with them!  As a lover of all things make-up, shoes, accessories, and clothes, I’m the ultimate girly-girl and I find it very exciting!  Combining fashionable pieces in different ways is just another way to express my creativity.

And… this is my latest collaboration with Tobi clothing.   Tobi and I worked together to select a few items from their extensive collection that are great to wear out on the town, to a performance, to dinner, and that can make you feel sexy, flirty, and feminine.  It’s what I strive for when I dress, always.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I’d rather show up a little over-dressed than under-dressed, anywhere.  The last thing I like is showing up someplace, feeling out-of-place because I’m too casual.  But, don’t mistake that statement for the buttoned-up business type look!  No way!  I’m all about expressing what makes me a girl – curves, cleavage, long legs, and long nails.  No need to cover up what you are given.  Celebrate who you are and don’t’ hide it!

While most women wish we could be draped in diamonds and only be seen in public with premium pickings from a couture fashion house, that’s just not possible.  (And, if it is possible for you, can I borrow a few things from your closet please!) : )

I do believe in making some selective purchases and saving up for timeless pieces from premium designer brands.  I find that I get the most for my money with shoes and bags that will last me a lifetime if I invest my money in a few new additions every year.  (My favorite “go-to” shoe brands are:  Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin, and Michael Kors.  They are all worth the price and will last forever with wear and care.  For bags, Louis Vuitton, Michael Kors, Fendi, and Chanel are some of my prize purses.  Sprinkled in my wardrobe you will find quality top-of-the line dresses from Nicole Miller, Michael Kors, Halston, and some up-and-coming designers starting to make a buzz in the fashion biz.)

That said, I enjoy mixing less expensive clothes with high-end luxury brands for two reasons:  1) I didn’t win the lottery…yet and 2) Sometimes you can only achieve the look you want by searching for a style and not a name.  For example, if I want the perfect chunky gold necklace or a see-through sparkle effect on earrings, I may gravitate towards costume jewelry that fits the bill perfectly, rather than limit myself to pieces out of my price range, that still won’t be exactly what I had hoped for.  The same things goes for when I wear clothing that’s cut from fabric that shows the right amount of skin, is a lovely complimentary color, and hugs my curves like it was made for me.  I don’t make decisions based on the label.  I can take a dress that fits both my budget and my body and dress it up with designer shoes and a bitchin’ bag.

So just about everyone on the planet has an LBD (little black dress).  Actually, I shy away from wearing black, especially at events, because I don’t want to blend in.  This Heat Wave Black Scalloped Deep V Bodycon dress by Tobi attracted my attention, though.  The scalloped edge is different on the top and the bottom.  I also liked how it went in at the waist, to show off curves instead of hide them.  What I liked even more is that the shoulder straps are adjustable, so you don’t have to worry about the neckline laying too low and can adjust them to your comfort.

In this case I wanted to let the dress to the talking and have it remain center stage with simplicity.  When I think black, I also think classic.  So I paired my highest black patent leather heels, my Pigalles by Christian Louboutin with a trio of gold bangle bracelets;

and finished off the look with some smoky lucite teardrop faceted earrings, and instead of your basic black evening bag, I found this feathered clutch at a boutique at the Borgata Hotel & Casino called Carina, that one of my celebrity clients introduced me to, known for its eclectic and custom pieces that will make any outfit pop.  (Thank you, Claudia Wells!)

If I didn’t want to go as high with the heels, I could lower them about a half-an-inch by wearing my Jimmy Choo sexy lace up shoes which would work just as well.

Ok, on to the next outfit!

The one thing I’m usually skeptical of is wearing anything “nude,” “skin-color,” “taupe,” and the like.  I’m afraid of either looking like I’m naked at a glance, or just appearing too bland and blah, for better words.

What I like about Tobi’s Thrill Seeker Taupe Above the Knee Ruched Bodycon Dress is that there is some sheen to the fabric.  It’s silky, and the ruching is flattering, drawing the eyes in towards the waist and not accentuating it in the wrong ways.

At first I was in a slight panic about the fact that I might have to go bra-less in this backless dress.  Boobs bouncing is just so not me.  But, I added some stick on support and was good to go.  The fabric is comfortable and flattering, although, be careful of snags.  You also may want to opt for wearing a thong or v-string as the style is not forgiving for VPL’s.

That said, you’ll look like a glass of champagne with the way the fabric flows over your curves in this gorgeous flattering cut which I wore out to dinner, but you could dress it up for a party and look poised too.

I paired this with an inexpensive champagne colored faux pearl bracelet, some earrings dangling with a mix of champagne and smoke faux pearls mixed with a peachy faceted baubles, and a pair of Christian Louboutin peep toe pumps with geometrically angled heels to give the outfit an anything-but-predictable feel.

Just so I wouldn’t be too matchy-matchy, I pulled it all together with a classic Louis Vuitton monogram bag with a chain link strap.

What attracted me to the One Night Black Lace Dress by Tobi was its lace up back.  I found it to be sexy and dramatic, and different.  From the front, you may notice the sheer black lace overlay, but, from the back, the corset-style loose lacing will stop traffic.  There was nothing boring about this black dress.

The length of the lace lingers below the sold black hemline of the dress to provide an interesting edge.

The lace on the arms isn’t lined, so you  won’t have some weird nude mismatched skin tone fabric showing.  The core of the dress itself has beautiful black fabric beneath the soft lace, so there’s no uncomfortable itching.

Again, this isn’t the type of dress you can wear a bra with, but I found some stick on options for support that didn’t interfere with my daring side wanting to try out a dress with a drop-dead way to showcase my back.

The one thing I love about Tobi is that it doesn’t feature ordinary, boring wardrobe options that you’ll find all over online and in department stores.  The selections are classy, and range from casual to a bit more formal, but are also affordable.  The quality is better than their competitors, too.

You can definitely find items in classic colors but there will be something about them to make the pieces stand out, with their shape, style, or attention to detail. 
 
I even learned a thing or two – how black doesn’t have to be basic and boring, and a nude color won’t make you blend into oblivion.

Tobi understands a woman’s body with its designs and makes many of its dresses with adjustable straps and there is flexibility in the material so it hugs (and goes over) your curves when getting dressed. 

And, their clothing is comfortable, which is key.  Zippers and lacing are in all of the right places so you don’t have to be a contortionist to get into or out of their outfits, either, which is always a plus.

Many of their designs are youthful, but they also consider the level of elegance called for by someone older than 20-something.

Website:  www.tobi.com
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When you are little, you think about what you will become when you grow up. Heck, even when you are a grown-up you sometimes wonder what you will become. 

People ask you when you are a child what you want to be when you are an adult.  The worst thing someone can say to a child when they answer that question is that they have to pick just one thing – one profession – one aspiration – one dream.

He can be a carpenter, dad, teacher, artist, superhero, policeman, office worker, guitar player, and more!  She can be a gardener, model, engineer, writer, skydiver, YouTuber, … all of these things are possible, and perhaps there are occupations one can have that haven’t even been invented yet.  And, a person can be all or some of these things simultaneously.

I find myself, as time goes on, and I become more comfortable in my own skin and in my own soul, I am discovering more of the gifts that God has given me and meant for me to use.  Sometimes, I’m not quite sure how to use them, or when I will use them, but recognizing one’s gifts is half the battle.

So many people are born with talents and suppress them, or are (mis)guided by parents, teachers, and society to pursue only high-paying jobs.  By doing that, many ironically pay, the highest price, and lead a life that leaves them feeling unfulfilled in some way.

Do you want to live a life of could have’s and should have’s?  Most people don’t want to.  I asked myself those questions when my daughter was about 2 years old.  I felt like there was more I was meant to do with my life.  Thankfully, I had friends who are like family to me, who encouraged me to follow my heart and not what others think I should do.

For me, it’s better late than never, that I have learned to embrace who I am – and I’m still learning how to do that.

Vocalizing who I am is sometimes the hardest thing for me to do.  It’s applying a label to myself.  Just like the first time my daughter called me “Mom Mom,” it was a new label.  Although it was the most wonderful name I could hear, it took some time getting used to hearing it; believing that I was a mother.  It’s through this that I began to realize if you do it, and then you say it, you are it.  You can’t “be” something just by saying you are.  You must incorporate your actions into your character.

Laura the Writer

The first time I told someone I was a writer, it sounded foreign to me.  I called myself a “writer”.  Is that who I am?  I guess it is.  I write. I put my work out there for others to read.  Yes, I am a writer.  Over time I became more comfortable with defining myself with the word “writer”.  Now, years later, it rolls off my tongue without a thought.  I have finally embraced it.  It has melded into my being. It’s natural to me now.   It just took time.

Laura the Radio Personality

I remember the first time I was a guest on radio.  Just a little over 4 short years ago!  I was so scared to do it.  I almost turned down the opportunity and didn’t take the drive to the studio.  They wanted to talk to me?

I thought about trying something new; and my grandmother’s advice of “try it, you’ll like it” rang through my ears.  What was the worst that could happen?  I get on air, and I don’t like it?  Well, if that were to happen, I just wouldn’t do it again!  If I never tried it, then how would I be able to form a valid opinion about it?

So I gave it a go – and I didn’t just like it, I LOVED it!  And apparently the confidence I felt as I was speaking in my interview was something that listeners appreciated, and I was invited back to that very same studio dozens of times for different broadcasts.  I began to co-host radio shows and grew increasingly comfortable being both the interviewer and the interviewee. 

What do you call someone who bounces from radio station to radio station?  Who goes on radio a lot, and people identify her with her pen name-persona?  Perhaps a radio personality.  That was me.  This is me.

I did it.  I said it.  And now, I believe it.  I believe I am.

It’s like trying on clothes for the first time – sometimes you’re not sure if they suit you or if they fit.  Then; something happens and you grow into them, or they grow on you.  They become a part of you.  You start to believe that this is a part of who you are.

Laura the Celebrity Publicist

I fell into “PR”.  I never said “I want to be a publicist when I grow up.” Not once.

I wrote about things and people that interested me; I still do.  I went on radio and spoke about my adventures and what and who I penned about.  People asked me if I could write about them or get them on radio, too. And, that’s how I became a publicist.  But, not a general publicist.  I work specifically with high profile clients in the entertainment industry.  God has placed certain talented individuals in my path who He must want me to work with.  I rarely seek them out.  It’s the truth! They find me, or we have a chance meeting much of the time.  Believe me, I’m grateful for being blessed with this calling I handle with care.

Maybe it’s because I don’t get star struck.  Maybe because a doorway of trust is opened up between my soul and theirs.  I meet these select people in unexpected ways and feel it must be my destiny to help the ones I work with in the best way I can.

I put on the celebrity publicist hat, (because I needed to put something understandable on my business card – ha!) and after hearing it a few hundred times, I finally convinced myself that this also, is me.

Laura the Model

Last year I began modeling.  I probably could have started three years earlier, but I was hesitant when photographer Michael Abrams asked me to pose for pictures with him.  My reaction was of caution and disbelief in myself.  He works with gorgeous models all over the world who are showcased in Maxim and Playboy.  Why me?  Who me?  Finally, I could not think of a good reason why I shouldn’t give it a go, and I did.  It was the best decision I ever made, to work with someone who was patient and believed in my abilities.

The blog blew up.  My photos were published in a magazine.  And I was living and breathing being a model.  People asked for my autograph and wanted to meet me? This doesn’t happen to normal people I thought.  Goes to show you what I know!  I’m still learning!  The craziest thing – I agreed to do it all over again this summer, and here are the photos showing more of this “model” side of me once more.

And, Michael’s photography, to date, combined with his tolerance of me :) and endless patience and guidance when working with me, produces photos like these, that I’m very proud of.  I’m proud of them not because they are photos of me; but because they show how he and I are working together to help each other realize our dreams and showcase our gifts.

Model.  Yeah, pinch me still, because I probably need to hear it a few hundred more times to believe it.  But I’ll get there.  Eventually.

Laura the Actress

My first scene on camera was as an extra in a movie, (Who’s Jenna…?) sitting behind a bar.  No speaking lines.  I was just in the right place at the right time and there was a need for a woman in the scene, and I thought about this opportunity just as I had thought about going on radio for the first time – why not give it a try? 

While I wasn’t very comfortable in my mind being on camera, I wasn’t “me” on camera.  I was someone else for a few minutes, another character.  This character, she could pull it off.  And I did. 
Before I knew it, my credits in IMDb weren’t just as a publicist, but also as an actress.  I read it; dare I believe it?  The proof is in the film – it sure as heck was me on screen.

One thing led to another, and I had my first lead role in a short film, and then a small part in a feature film after that (both not released yet).  This fall I start filming my first feature film where I play a lead, too.  In rather rapid succession, my actions are justifying the actress label.  I do, therefore I am?

What’s next?

I still have a hard time believing that I am all of these things myself. Sometimes it sounds foreign to hear myself say the words “I’m an actress,” or “I’m a model.”  It hasn’t sunk in yet.  Although, when I hear others refer to me in those terms, I say to myself, that it must be true.  So I embrace them, as much as I can; and maybe over time I’ll become more accustomed to saying, hearing, and being these things, just like I got used to being called “Mom Mom” over a decade ago. 

Who knows what I’ll add to the list of adjectives next.  I’m still finding out who I am; and it’s not just one thing.  There is not one term to encapsulate all that I do and all that I will become.  I am not defined by a single word.  No one is.

The closest labels of late for me are “media personality” and jokingly, “chameleon”.  I seem to wear many hats these days and change them many times a day sometimes.  What’s next?  I do not have a road map of what’s in store for me, but I know that I need to continue to listen to my heart, no matter what job descriptions are added after my name.  I just know that I fully expect that there will be more talents for me to uncover because no one only possesses one facet of their being; we are not one dimensional; and there are more twists and turns on my journey (and yours) to explore.  Call me a mother, a sister, a writer, a model, an actress, a friend, a lover, or a label not yet conceptualized….  No matter what words are used to describe me, the word “me” is ever-changing, and its definition knows no bounds.  And, I like it that way.

And after all of this,

I’m still,

just me.

Once upon a time, in a city across the river from New York, overlooking the majestic skyline, there was a smashing film festival filled with celebrities, actors, film makers, paparazzi, and glitzy guests from all over the world. 

This upscale Jersey City event, in its sixth proud year, was appropriately named the Golden Door International Film Festival, run by the Sorvino family and its board of directors, with Michele Sorvino at the helm.  It welcomes all who are interested in movies or work in the film industry, with open arms as attendees.  It’s the ‘Golden Door’ to the entertainment industry.

Aside from showcasing hundreds of films from around the globe, the Golden Door Film Festival highlights something that touches so many – autism.  Some of the films shown each year have themes that deal with how autism affects the lives of people we all know.

This year’s Golden Door Film Festival was sponsored by many community organizations and big brand companies, including Tito’s Handmade Vodka, which provided libations for opening night, as well as red carpet events.  The sponsors, generously allow for a four day, first class extravaganza, which may as well be the sister to the Sundance Film Festival, in the North East.

Opening night is always a glamorous gala.  Stars come out above, as well as below the sparkling city, dressed to the nines, and ready to celebrate the hard work and talent of everyone showcasing their films on the big screens.  As I ran tip-toe across the street in heels and a metallic gown to the historic Loew’s Jersey Theatre, a few onlookers couldn’t help but stare and wonder why I was all dressed up among a sea of commuters on their way home from work. 

But if anyone looked just beyond the crosswalk, they could see a line of anxiously awaiting patrons wrapped around the block, all dressed in sparkly gowns and tailored suits who would be checking into the same venue as me, for the beginnings of another Golden Door Film Festival.

This year, the festival welcomed athletes from the NY Giants, including running back Rashad Jennings, and celebrity judges such as actor/writer Christian Keiber. 

The festival always has surprises every year, and reinvents itself like Madonna.  Friday night was all about Freestyle music as genre icons such as Jill Tirrell and Soave took the stage at Club Transmission after the film Legends of Freestyle was shown. 

The do-not-miss red carpet event on Saturday night was the screening of Tom Baldinger’s first feature film, “Who’s Jenna…?” where the legendary actress Amber Lynn, who has a cameo in the movie, had flown out from Los Angeles to join fellow cast and crew for an amazing evening. 

Actors Joseph D’Onofrio (known instantaneously for his roles in A Bronx Tale and Goodfellas) Garry Pastore (Gotham, The Deuce, Rob the Mob) and Bill Sorvino (who is also founder of the festival) all have lead roles in “Who’s Jenna…?” and were also in attendance at this second standing-room-only screening of the romantic comedy surrounding a humorous case of mistaken identity, an obsessed-with-porn geek, all the while delivering an important underlying message about not judging people. 

Director Tom Baldinger and his wife, Kelly, CEO of 624 Productions, LLC. were there, as well as many other cast and crew to celebrate the evening.

An hour and half after admission to the “Who’s Jenna…?” screening began, people were still pouring in the door.  Previously, the film held a sold out screening at the House of Independents in Asbury Park, NJ, and the attendance for this event was on par.

Throughout Friday, Saturday, and Sunday patrons could select films that they wanted to see at venues throughout Jersey City, where directors, cast, and crew were found, happy to show off their hard work to the public.  People walked the streets or jumped on the PATH train to easily access the movies on the menu which stimulated their appetites for viewing as well as afterparties that extended well into the wee hours of the mornings.  Sunday culminated with an awards presentation honoring the best of the fest, and no time was wasted as the call for entries is already open for next years’ festivities in September.

Click here for a ‘Golden’ glimpse of the film award nominations and winners.

More photos from the “Who’s Jenna…?” red carpet screening can be found here.

You know Jennifer Runyon (Corman) as the sexy, funny, (supposedly psychic) blonde female student in the original Ghostbusters when Bill Murray’s character (Peter Venkman) tests her for mind-reading powers; and for her role as Gwendolyn Pierce in the TV series Charles in Charge.  Maybe you even remember her from A Very Brady Christmas where she portrayed grown-up Cindy Brady! By the way - she’s also an ordained minister – I kid you not – read on!

In light of Ghostbusters (2016) coming out in theatres this week, I couldn’t wait to hear what one of the original cast members of the iconic film had to say about the new movie.  Plus, what a better time, to place her career and life in the limelight with some amazing memories and never-before-published, behind-the-scenes photos, too!

“I support the new Ghostbusters 100%.  Let’s give the ladies a chance, and I think they’re going to be hilarious. I think it’s awesome! I know you’ve got some pretty hardcore fans that don’t appreciate it and aren’t happy about it; but I think there’s always room for people trying new things.  They are certainly very talented ladies, so I think it’s going to be amazing. My friend Robin Shelby is going to be in it. She was Slimer in Ghostbusters 2.  I don’t know what she’s done in it. She hasn’t told me. She’s not allowed to talk about it, but I’m definitely going to go see it for my friend, Robin,” shared Jennifer.

Although you won’t see Jennifer in a cameo role in this remake of Ghostbusters, she had some really awesome ideas for how her original character could be woven into the story line of this movie, or a possible part two.

“It would have been fun to have a psychic [in this Ghostbusters]. Everyone always jokes that my character should have been in this one (or in a new part two) like on the TV in the background as a psychic.  Someone could call in for a psychic [reading] and I’m horrible,” she laughs as she relays this in conversation, since her original character was dubbed as “psychic” by Peter Venkman, only as a way to hit on her, since she clearly did not have any mind reading abilities in the scene.

(We brainstormed on the possibility of her “grown up” character as a medium who all of a sudden starts receiving REAL premonitions, after her chronic past failure at predictions, and how that can play into the supernatural story line.  We both agree it has a lot of potential and can supply an interesting twist to perhaps a future Ghostbusters sequel!)

 “It would be fun if there was somebody who was supposedly psychic.  Almost like Whoopi in Ghost – [whose character faked reading the future and suddenly tapped into the supernatural psychic realm unexpectedly] - not me necessarily – but one of the characters.  That would be kind of fun,” added Jennifer.

Considering the role reversal where the trio of Ghostbusters is an all-female cast now, compared to the original all male team, I couldn’t help but wonder, what if all roles were reversed.  I asked Jennifer who she would cast as her character in a 21st century version of the film.

“Put in Scott Baio, why not? And have Willie [Aames] be the other character chewing the gum. Willie and Scott - that would be hilarious – ‘Charles and Buddy’” – she half jokes, as she plugs her former Charles in Charge cast mates appropriately for the comedic scene.

(Admittedly, I like her choices; almost an ‘inside joke’ and a double-play on people who have crossed over her career path.)
Speaking of blasts from her past, she still keeps in touch with Susan Olsen since her stint on A Very Brady Christmas, as well as Nicole Eggert (Charles in Charge), and Willie Aames is her best friend to this day.

Not many people, never mind actors, get to have the experience of working with greats like Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and Rick Moranis.  Jennifer reminisces the following about her time on the set of Ghostbusters.

“The ease – it was not at all an ego-driven set.  Everybody was so easy, laughing… there was lots of joking.  Working with Bill Murray was just so amazing.  He puts you at ease right away and really is very comforting when you’re in a scene. My favorite thing was just listening to the banter, the laughter, and them including us in it, which was great.”

While I could have zeroed in on any one of the former Ghostbusters cast for an interview, I felt drawn to Jennifer.  Maybe it’s her relatability off-camera that I found interesting.  (Her favorite color is red, like my moniker, but besides that, she loves to live her life as a mom, animal lover, and embraces the brightest moments of every day.)

Many may wonder what she’s been up to over the past 32 years outside of her IMDb page.

“Since Ghostbusters, I did a nice handful of work and was very blessed to be a working actress.  I got married in 1991 [to Todd Corman, whom she met on a movie set in the Caribbean called Dreams of Gold where he was 1st Assistant director], and in 1993 we had our son, Wyatt; and once we had our son I kind of knew that I wanted to take some time just to be a mom.  I grew up in a family where my parents worked, and we had housekeepers and nannies, (My mom and dad were radio people,) and I grew up with other people who were there every day.  I didn’t want that for my kids, because I know all I wanted was my mom.  I wanted to be a mom.  I wanted to experience every moment.  I didn’t want somebody calling me on the set going ‘Oh my God, Wyatt walked!’  I wanted to be the one, if possible, that experienced that first. 

So I left the business to raise my kids, and we left Hollywood, and we moved to Idaho and Oregon.  We were gone for about 10 years and had our kids, and we moved to California 10 years later because our parents were getting older, and we felt it was time to come home and spend time with our parents,” explains Jennifer.

“When I came home, my kids were 10 and 12, and in-between I would work in their schools and teach acting, not to introduce kids to being actors, but doing all of the fun improv exercises with the kids because it helps them get over that fear of being in front of an audience and peers, if they have to give a speech or do a report.  My hope was, this is a way to enlighten kids, showing them it’s ok to stand up in front of people; anybody can do this.  I was doing that for many years. When my daughter (Bayley) was a junior in high school, and my son was away at college, I became involved in a group called Tilly’s Life Center (TLC). 

Tilly is a friend of mine who owns a store for teens.  She wanted to give back to kids and help kids who were troubled.  She started this program with me, and a couple of other people, and we work with teens now.  We started out at the Boys and Girls Club, and it’s a program to give kids tools to get through tough times:  how to communicate, how to forgive, how to dream your biggest dreams – tools to help you in life.  All of us would benefit from it, and a lot of us don’t learn these things until we are older.  What a great opportunity to give it to these young kids so they can use it now.  I’m actually teaching in high schools now – a program of self-awareness in Huntington Beach, CA, and we have other programs with other teachers.  I sent two off to college, and I inherited 50,” she laughs.

On most days you can find Jennifer enjoying her coffee first thing in the morning with one of her vices.

“I can’t live without my coffee, that’s for sure.  And I can’t live without my sugar free hazelnut creamer.  If I don’t have it, I literally Jones.  That’s the first thing I have to do in the morning.  My favorite thing to do once I’m up and I’ve had a little bite to eat, usually a protein shake in the morning, is on most days I get to take care of things around the house and spend time with my husband.”

But, don’t forget about her spending time with Nova.  She loves Nova – her son’s dog.

“She’s become the baby – a little pal in the family.  She’s my grand-doggie.”

Celebrities, are, a lot like everyone else.  Most people only get to see a very public side of them at events, or on TV or in a movie, but I truly feel it’s beautiful when they share bits of their private lives with the world, too.  It allows everyone to relate to them on a familiar level.  (Hey, we all sleep.  We all eat… it’s nice to see a “real” side of everyone.)

Besides her beloved hazelnut creamer, Jennifer admits that some of her favorites are pizza (in Italy), her grandmother’s paprikash (She’s part Hungarian like me, so don’t even get me started on our shared ethnic food loves… this was a whole other topic she and I chatted about that could make for a separate feature in the future!) … and she loves Cheladas (Mexican beer – usually made with a light beer and clamato juice with a touch of lime juice, and sometimes salt and other spices.)  Her current healthy craving:  Persian cucumbers and hummus.

Did you know Jennifer…

• Is afraid of heights
• Is afraid of the ocean – not swimming in it – but being on a cruise ship out in the ocean
• Would love to live in either London or Italy for at least a year
• Loves country music beyond belief
• Would probably be a teacher if she wasn’t an actress
• Has a favorite childhood memory of living in Boston, where the woods was her playground.  She and her friends had a pond that they ice skated on called ‘Show Biz’ and they would pretend they were figure skaters.
• Can legally marry people

 
True.

…on this whole marriage thing… how in the world did she become an ordained minister?!?  Jennifer explains how it all happened:

“One of my co-facilitators, who also works for TLC, asked me if I would officiate their wedding.  I thought, ‘Why not? How sweet!’  Anybody can do it.  You go online and find Universal Life Church, and you can be ordained, which means you’re legally able to marry people.  And I did!  And I just married my neighbors [in June] which was really cool.   I’ve only done this twice, but how fun!”

Sometimes, in life, you don’t anticipate becoming or trying something new, just as she didn’t initially set out to officiate weddings.

“The one piece of advice I would like to say to everyone is never be afraid to try something new.  The worst thing that can happen is that it’s not for you.  But sometimes it works out and leads to better things,” shared Jennifer.

I couldn’t agree more.  Sometimes, you fall into things, and you would never have these wonderful experiences otherwise.

If you are here you probably saw the post capturing the Chocology chocolate tasting and are hoping to enter the Fat Ass Fudge giveaway! 

And if you didn't read the results of the mother-daughter chocolate tasting, what are you waiting for?!  Go read, and then get ready to take a chance below so you can indulge in some fantastic fudge! (But you must live in the continental USA!)