When I published the photos from my photo shoot with photographer Michael Abrams, I had a feeling that they would cause a stir. Most people I know or who have interacted with me in person or on social media, have never seen me show so much skin and such a casual side of myself. I figured that many would be curious to see a different side of me. What I didn’t anticipate was the range of reactions. They really ran the gamut.
I’ve also learned a lot from posting a few of the photos he had taken on Facebook, too. I have many wonderful publicly supportive and encouraging friends, but also many who have remained publicly silent for certain reasons. Some have sent me private messages telling me that they liked the photos, but they were afraid to “like” them or comment on them for fear of their wives or girlfriends retaliating or getting angry or upset with them for doing that. While I appreciate the compliments, I think that it’s sad that some are in relationships where one person feels so insecure that they reprimand a spouse or significant other for liking or complimenting another woman’s photos. Jealousy is never pretty and is always petty. Love lasts on longer leashes and is strangled by tight cords.
And some people, mostly women, completely circumvented the photos posted, pretending as if they had never seen them, for their own unexplained reasons, and I think that is equally sad, because I would support anyone, male or female, who was doing something that made them happy, feel good, and was a way to support someone else’s work at the same time.
And some female friends, I want to hug because they truly show their support for women. It’s wonderful when women can compliment other women and hold them up high. I think many tear each other down feeling like there is unspoken competition between girls. It’s refreshing to see mutual support and respect shown, and I’ll definitely do the same for them.
And let’s do a time warp. High school. I was the girl that stood at her locker when the “popular girls” got asked out. I was the quiet one who was funny and friendly. I was the one who was “cute”. Now, there are a select few of the high school boys – all grown up – who finally paid attention to me. They noticed me after a few decades. Why? Why didn’t you notice me years ago? Maybe I didn’t sleep around. Maybe my fashion choices didn’t reveal all. But now that I’m a little more courageous and I have grown into “me”, I’m not afraid to show who I am. To all of those teens who are overlooking those girls in school right now – take time for a double-take, because when the decades pass you by, they may not be there for you to get to know better.
Of course, there were also the off-the-wall emails and Facebook messages sent to me from people who didn’t know me at all, that ranged from lewd comments to asking me out. I was once told by a male friend of mine that some men live by the 10% rule, where they do something extreme like make a sexual comment or ask a woman out without even getting to know her or have a conversation with her, and bet that 10% of the time she will say “yes” – to going out with them or sleeping with them without a thought; without a conversation; without having a date. If that’s true, I’d love to know who these 10% women are, because I think they really need some counseling and an injection of pride in themselves that raises their standards. And as for these men – they were blocked. I really don’t need that kind of foolishness in my life. And if they think I’m dumb enough to jump into bed with them if they said that they HAVE to meet me, or that I’m beautiful, then they obviously think I’m dumb, and I really don’t want to surround myself with people who think I am stupid.
I do have to say for the most part the reaction to the photos of me taken by Michael Abrams was positive. My own reaction was one of awe and appreciation for this photographer’s talent and the way he captured me using angles, lighting, and relying on his guidance so I knew how to pose. One of the most surprising and wonderful after-effects of finally having professional photos taken of me that I felt proud of, and for the first time unveiling them to the world, was that it opened the eyes of many people who already knew me and just needed to see me in a different light. It caused them to pay attention to me, and to the fact that I am a writer and celebrity publicist, and love broadcasting on radio - and my work is very good. Publishing these photos also opened new doors and allowed others whom I did not already know in the music, film, and entertainment industry to take notice; that I wasn’t just a blip on the radar – that I was serious and someone who wasn’t shy or afraid to put myself out there and accomplish greater things.
Every time I write something I put a piece of myself out there; but nothing has compared to me putting my actual self “out there”. It’s an experience that I do not regret, and definitely cherish. You never know what can happen when you take an educated risk! A lot of good can come of it; more than you can imagine.
Click here to see the original photo montage referenced in this blog.
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